Monday, 18 December 2017

Mall Girl's Guide to Survival: 5 tips on how to survive festive shopping

Yes, I'm a terrible blogger. No, I will not stop trying!

Heeeeeeeeeey to all you festive peeps! I have great hope that everyone is enjoying this joyous and festively merry time of year! Friends, food, laughter and most importantly; shopping!

Over the years, I've slowly gathered an abundance of knowledge on malls; the sales, best take-away times and how to avoid rude customers and their Grinch-like behavior. I figured, with it being Christmas and all, why not share a little bit of Christmas spirit and dish out on some of the things I've learnt.



Here's 5 Top Tips on how to survive shopping malls this festive season:

1. Lead with an arm and keep your handbag close to you: In a busy crowd? Can't seem to get through? Stick your hand out and disperses the crowd. This not only signals intention to move but also makes said bunch of people very uncomfortable thus resulting in an immediate split of crowds in an area. While doing this, keep your handbag close to you; possibly in front of you if you have a sling bag or under your coat; also making sure that your bag is zipped/inaccessible. Guys, keep your wallets buried deep inside your pockets or girlfriend's handbag.

2. Leave your kids at home: With a trusted adult of course; grandma, trusted friend or babysitter. Your hopefully purposeful shopping experience will be rewarded by not having to constantly be mindful of another tiny human being alongside you or said tiny human being irritating the crap out of other shoppers. Spoil your little human being with a treat once you're back home.

3. Shop in the a.m: There is a beautiful time in between Thanksgiving and Christmas; the time before school is out and just before the decorations are out. This time of year is the perfect time to shop and promptly before 1pm; take note people that this time is the time you want to be shopping; when malls are quiet and you have the freedom of movement between isles. While that time has passed. the cardinal rule of shopping the morning still allows you an arm length of time/freedom and the ability to pay bills and shop in a clothing store before everything goes to shit. Not to mention the beautiful choice of Christmas goodies in food markets; I mean try getting a dozen cinnamon doughnuts after 10am at Woolworths i.e. not gonna happen!

4. Food: Do not attempt to sit down and part-take in what would seem like a beautiful brunch of sorts with your girlfriends or significant other. This will result, in most cases an utter disaster; rude waiters, sloppy food and waiting around forever for a table in order to enjoy a 1.5 hour meal that often leaves one unsatisfied and not wanting to come back to the restaurant again; 9 times out of 10 it is a fabulous restaurant that is unfortunately victim to the holiday season and it's woes for mall staff. So simply take yourself to a quick take-away and grab some food for on the go; a wrap, smoothie, sandwich; whatever that doesn't need cutlery. Better yet, eat at home; it saves you the time and money.

5. Pack light, wear the right shoes, plan ahead: So throwing in a bunch of advice into one tip. Prepare! Christmas shopping is serious business people and we all know if you plan on throwing a fantastic Christmas lunch or giving some kick-ass presents this year, we need to know what the hell we're doing. Therefore, free your hands by packing a little handbag/sling bag with the necessities; cash, cards, tissues and some hand-sanitizer; 3 out of 5 people catch colds at this time of year out of sheer disrespect of human boundaries i.e. sneezing in your hands and touching the escalator handle etc; the world is brutal people; come prepared! Wear flat comfortable shoes; this is no brainerl I shall not explain further. Prepare yourself, make your shopping lists, plan the route of shops you're going to visit and space yourself out to make sure you have enough time to visit your favourite stores!

So there, I hope everyone that everyone reading has a pleasant festive period, full of rest, food and love. Take it easy and don't forget to share your top holiday tips below!

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